My Kids Need Me
Our family experienced a minor disaster this past week that gave me new insight into my kids. Last weekend the city sewer system had a clog in it that caused the sewer to back up into our basement. Yeah, I know, gross! It flooded a little less than an inch in depth (thankfully!)but covered most of our basement. This happened in about four other townhouses near us as well. As a side note, the town has been great so far in fixing the problem and cleaning up and fixing our basement.
You can imagine the result to our basement and how it destroyed a lot of things (mostly toys) that were down there. We also had to stay at grandma’s house for a couple nights just to be safe. Right after that happened I had to go out of town for three days and three nights. These two things together had an emotional impact on my six year-old daughter. She really is doing great but at night as she’s going to bed she’s been a little traumatized and has a little trouble getting to sleep.
What struck me was how something like these events had such an impact on her emotionally. Her world is built on her family and her home and those two things were bumped this week. I just can’t imagine what something more serious would do to her and can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like for our child-parent bond to be broken.
As a nation we debate a lot of issues related to public policy and that is a good and healthy thing for our democracy. But as a nation we unify in agreement on certain core principles. I hope that one of those core principles remains the role that parents play in the lives of their children. What the policy and legislation looks like is debatable but we’ve got to agree that kids need their parents! We’ve got to protect that relationship, not undermine it. We’ve got to support parents, not tear them down. We’ve got to protect children, not tear down mom and dad. Bottom line is we’ve got to protect the parental rights doctrine.
Your absolutly right. I am in the most horrifing battle of my life,trying to get my 3 children back from the state. I lost them due to homelessness. I have complied with all that was asked of me by the court. It has been 7 months and I am still not even able to talk with my children on the phone. My 12 year old daughter has been told by her therapist that she doesnt have to come to the family visits if she soesnt want to. The CPS worker is telling her she can go live with her biological dads wife in another state. Mind you her dad is incarcerated of 76 years and not even eligable for parole until 2024. My 10 year old daughters dad was notified by CPS and a home study already done, he is allowed to call her as he pleases and has visitations when he wants. This being a dad who left me pregnant at four months and only came to see her for the first time at 18 months when she was hospitalized with the RSV viruse. H showed up with his wife. He has only seen her 2 times until she was 4 and hasnt contacted us in 6 years, no support no birthdays, no clothes, no pampers, no healthcare, nothing. Now CPS is telling her she can go live with dad. I fail to understand this. I though I was to be given the chance to acheive what the court asked FIRST, then and only when I didnt comply would they look at other alternitives. My children have no idea the great things I have accomplished because CPS doesnt discuss this with them and in visits I am forbiden to talk about the case. I though that was what ” Theraputic Visits” were all about. My voice doesnt matter. I get attitude and when I ask why or how come, My worker responds with (I have no responce to that!!!) Im a fighter, and I wont give up, but I need advise. I have a court appointed lawyer who just waits for me to call her. In 9 months I havent even had a meeting with her. Tired and desperate, Linda Cordero, 220 S Burlington #4, Hastings, Ne. 68901. THANK YOU
Feb 11 at 7:31 am
Oh my God Linda, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am going through the same thing with my 2 daughters who are 13 and 11 years old. I had to stay at a hotel (temporarily and it wasn’t a grungy place either) and DYFS told me that I was to either give TEMPORARY custody of the girls to their father until I found “adequate” housing or they would be removed from my care. So I went along with what THEY deemed was “best for MY kids”. A short time later I had a 2 bedroom apt. and they still found unsubstantiated reason after reason for why they couldn’t come home to me. I am not allowed contact with them, (which my ex husbands wife just loves and totally plays on) and my older daughter now lives at her school, which is for troubled children. She has been acting out so much and not one of these people have thought “maybe she just needs her mother” (for Christ’s sake she is a 13 year old girl, of course she needs her mother). Oh and just to let you know, this all started in June of 2005. I too have complied 100% with the states requests but to ni avail. If you have any suggestions on what I can do please feel free to email me at hzleyesblndhair2@aol.com. Anybody who reads this and might have a suggestion is free to contact me. Linda, I hope and pray that everything works out for you. Christina Giannotti hzleyesblndhair2@aol.com
Feb 11 at 5:40 pm
Reading your stories reminds me of the reasons I do everything possible to keep the government completely out of our lives and the raising of our children. When I have had severe financial hardship, I was told time and time again to get food stamps and W.I.C or whatever; but the idea never sat well with me. It was never because of pride or anything, it was something I couldn’t really explain. Then I realized that I didn’t need any governmental agency involved in our lives. I could just imagine if I were recieving benefits and had to tell a so-called social worker that my house was going into foreclosure and that my credit reaked so bad that I didn’t think anyone would rent anything to us; and for these reasons, We may have to go and live in my Mother-in-law’s funky 1 bedroom basement apartment. I would have believed that they were there to help me; but, there is a strong possiblity that what happend to your families would have happend to mine.
My prayer for the both of you is that God will send you a real FEELING social worker, lawyer or who ever can get the job done to reunite your family!
Feb 14 at 9:22 am
Hey, everybody! I am so sorry about all your going through,and been through. Suffering going on here too. I will put you on our prayer list, I am a prayer warrior. I encourage you to make sure you have your armor of GOD on and keep standing, trusting in a good GOD. He is good, no matter what we have done or no matter how bad people treat us. Be encouraged to ask, believe and receive. Be blameless! Our sins are washed away by the blood of JESUS! Forgive those ex’es and the other woman and pray for them. Remember, GOD loves you, he really does. Faith comes by hearing, hearing by the word, read the Bible. Sincerely,from A very, listening, praying, caring sister. Maggie Sanders
Feb 17 at 5:49 am
Karen, my sister lost her home to foreclosure too but believe it or not she found someone who was willing to rent to her. MAJORITY of the people right now are in the same situation. Any Landlord (including myself as one) would understand the crisis that has gone on across the nation and be a little more accepting of the situation. If you can find a place, I’m sure they’d rent to you. Stay positive.
All of your stories are truly horrifying…. i can’t imagine losing my daughter under those circumstances. I really am blessed. for whatever reason god is testing you .. i pray you succeed.
Feb 26 at 9:37 pm
I have not seen my children for 2 yearsmy exinlaws bribe the judge because they have money ever since I divorce my exhusband 15 years ago my exinlaws has been harrassing 2 years ago my exhusband died he was evil the judge told my exinlaws if my exinlaws want to adopt my children they can she would help them they told DHS all kind of lies on me my children are now 15 and 18 on my son 18 birthday I met my son downtown my exinlaws where mad they called the police on me the police could’t do nothing they where mad so a couple of months later i was charge for harrassment 3rd degree I was throwin jail the judge put a 5 year no contact order on me against my own son now when my daughter turn 18 they are going to do the same thing I had to ger special permission to go to my own son graduation again my exinlaws tried to have me arrested my exinlaws only wants my children fro the money she gets their ssi and my child support and plus whatever the government giving her the judge kept going against me every month fro three years at the funeral the judge and DHS and county attorney and attorney general went to my exinhusband funeral i was not allowed to go the person who didi my children and my supervise visits told the courts that my children told her tha they wanted to live with me a couple of days later that person got fired my exinlaws lied and said they smelled beer on her breath which that was a lie because this person was saying nice things about me and my and DHS did’t like it the courts wanted to hear negteive stuff not no postive things about me they would’t let my children talk in court because they knoew that my children would have told the truth and those people would have gotten in trouble kind of strangle how they wanted to keep everything hush hush they should my police record and my boyfriends police records but my exhusband they left his out kept his a secrets.
Feb 29 at 6:18 pm
go to my space my children pictures are on there they look like me their names are Melissa and Brian I missed my children so bad sometime I just want to die my children where everything we did everything togther and I miss that
Feb 29 at 6:21 pm